November 2009

New heights of openness – New depths of friendship

He called me out of the blue, one morning after months of lost contact. “Yoram”, he said, “I thought about you. Are you ok? Can I come over”?

What happened, what instigated the call I asked? Some voice inside me said you could use my insights and my friendship, he responded.

I was touched how he sensed me from far away. It was also moving because he was not embarrassed to pick up the phone and express his care.

My dear friends, my notes, which so many of you follow and respond to, do not always pursue consistent themes. Occasionally we discuss management experiences and often I share stories and events which ten years ago I did not dare to discuss. At this stage of my life, I am clearly growing to a point where nothing is off limits and no honest detail is considered embarrassing or shameful. Life is too short and time is the essence. What is not shared today may be lost tomorrow.

So back to my dear friend who communicated care, love and devotion without resorting to words.

“Everyone needs a friend or mentor who can ask you the tough questions. Someone who can be cruel to be kind from a place of love,” he said at one point.

I have thought about this for years. Coming from a country where listening is not part of our cultural malaise and defensiveness is an inalienable part of our psyche, I welcomed a moment of truth from a loving friend who made me face reality with courage and a readiness to grow.

Imagine a person with no ulterior motives, who brings tremendous wisdom and pure love, who believes in you and admires you, but is also able to look you in the eye and tell you where he thinks you are stuck. I was truly blessed by this door-opening experience.

“I am lucky to have you as a friend”, he said, “I am lucky to be there, to have this kind of opportunity enter my life.”

Can you imagine the interaction? He came to help me and yet he was feeling gratitude as a result of my openness and readiness to truly let him in.

Yoram Yahav

 

 

October 2009

Buddha in his writings refers to the art of patience. So does Einstein much later in history when discussing his research insights. The topic has been on my mind for several days now and I was wondering how rooted it is in the minds of my surrounding community.

Patience as outlined in dictionary.com is defined as; “the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like… quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered…”

In Wikipedia I found a more intriguing definition of patience; “In evolutionary psychology and in cognitive neuroscience, patience is studied as a decision-making problem involving a choice of a small reward in a short span of time, or a more valuable reward after a long period of time.”

To me, patience symbolizes maturity, experience, growth and time. To some extent, it reflects the natural path of life’s teachings and life’s rewards for our own investment in considerate thoughts, acclimation to a no-anger environment and deep belief in what’s meant to be.

I know it sounds a bit heavy and philosophical but recently I have learned to increasingly appreciate and respect those who teach us to be patient. We live in a day and age where results, instant gratification and immediate outcomes are part of our every day language.

There is no time to wait. Time is money. What you can do now do not postpone until tomorrow… We all contend with these realities. As a result, many compromise on the quality of their websites, the depth of their relationships and tend to rush into financial obligations before they are ready. The tendency to act and react, to “give it back” is only too familiar in business, at home and in politics.

Most of the time listening and timing our own statements and reactions are not typical modes of behavior, at least where I come from.

At the risk of sounding too general I dare say, if there is one topic we could explore in greater depth and learn more about, it is the art of patience in modern life. As a martial artist, I was trained to handle physical reactions within the context of patience but I do not think I have done a good job adapting this skill to my personal life. Nevertheless, it’s, a learnable skill with tremendous room for growth and insights.

I hope you were “patient” in reading my short article and as before, I look forward to receiving your reactions.

September 2009

A group of some thirty-five managers from top Israeli companies and TIM representatives recently returned from an amazing Benchmarking Management Tour (IBT) to England. There, we met with heads of the government and top executives (including CEOs) from key organizations and companies.

One such visit was with the management of Manchester United, the famous football club. Regardless of whether you are a football fan or not, there is a high probability that you have heard of the name Manchester United. The power of branding these days is revealed through the capacity to recognize company names even if they are not part of our main interests. It was for that reason, amongst others, that we chose to take the management teams of five Israeli-based corporations (Alvarion, AudioCodes, GE Ultrasound, Hogla-Kimberly and IBM Israel) to visit and learn from amazing organizations such as this.

How many companies is one familiar with that have over three hundred and fifty million devoted fans who are willing to pay a great deal of money for their branded clothing, drive or fly great distances for their games and spend a fortune on hospitality packages at Old Trafford (the home stadium of the club since 1910)? I believe that the main point I want to convey in this article is the idea of an organization striving for and achieving success by creating an ongoing experience for its customers.

There is much for all of us to learn from the management, operation and vision of Manchester United. Our main host, Mr. Michael Bolingbroke, the Club’s COO, is a perfect example of a manager who “walks his talk.” Prior to joining United, Bolingbroke was the Senior Vice President of Shows of the French-Canadian circus company, Cirque du Soleil. Working with Cirque du Soleil for six years, he was in charge of the resident and global touring shows. Without a doubt, the man knows how to create an experience for his listeners. We could only envy the calm, professional and caring responses he gave to our challenging questions. Just imagine a company which has its own museum, tours, restaurants, hospitality boxes, full line of clothing, premium products marketed worldwide, owns contracts with players worth hundreds of millions of dollars and possesses a substantial piece of real-estate. Think about the same company spending a fortune and endless efforts on its local fans so that they will continue to have the Manchester United experience at all times. Quite remarkable and unusual.

On my way out, stopping at the stadium store, I ran across an older lady from Bulgaria who was looking for a gift for her grandchild. “I only have enough money to buy one gift for my family back home”, she told me, “which will make their day.” She came all the way to the store on a bus to take photos and buy a gift. Let me ask you this: How many brands do you know of which will justify a special twenty-five-hour trip to bring a single souvenir back home?

August 2009

From the moment we enter this world we endure experience the process of experiencing the “other.” From infancy we learn about feelings from our surroundings: Sadness is felt once we understand what happiness is, we are taught the meaning of “tall” so that “short” will be understood and the same applies to beauty versus ugliness, rich versus poor, angry versus calm and so forth.

My first memories of friendship are of my parents’ experiences with their close friends. They would call and visit at times of sickness, or crises in the family, or simply assist my mom while my dad was away. In the eyes of a boy, Israel was a heaven to grow up in. Friends were always there for me in an unequivocal manner regardless of the time of day or the state of mind. It was an inspirational stage of my life, and if I may say, a period which molded my future perception of friendship and its high value.

Similar to the cultural difficulty of getting acclimated to stingy people (when you are “generous” in nature) and cruelty (when kindness and gentleness rule your life), turning one’s back to a friend has similar outcomes. If there is something I can say with full confidence, it would be to value your commitment to your friends, and theirs to you. We do not choose our relatives, but we definitely do choose our friends.

There are many arguments I have heard in the past about the relationship between a cultural value and the quality and depth of a true friendship. I have not researched it, but I can only speak of my own intuition and insights. The concept of friendship relates to the education and the experiences you encounter in the first stages of your life, if with your parents, or with your immediate environment. In Israel, as in other countries, friendship enters the value system once we are born. We listen to the heroic stories of people carrying their friends over vast distances, we visit one another without notice, and we are told at a young age that having a good friend is like receiving the best gift for one’s birthday. When I was growing up, it was not unusual for a sixty-year-old person to be in touch with his/her friends from kindergarten.

At times there is a sad part to friendship. This happens when you are betrayed by one who you considered a good friend. When greed, egotism and self-indulgence take over, that is when one needs “to do his/her balance sheet.” By admitting the pain, disappointment and loss of faith, one can try to move on.

As a businessman, my opinions quite often deviate from the “standard code of operational thought.” I believe that everything happens for a reason while our free choice is always an option. Similar to the old saying: “What goes around, comes around,” our experiences come back to haunt us. We must take the lessons of life to our hearts, soft or severe as they may be.

To lose a personal friend however, whose friendship was taken for granted can be a devastating blow to one’s self esteem. The disappointment and the sense of bitterness take over us. It is at moments like these that we must try to forgive that person, move on and sincerely hope that when truth will prevail in life, that the backlash will not be too harsh.

Yoram Yahav
TIM CEO

July 2009

This month I am going to raise a topic that is often overlooked — the loneliness of being at the top.

There have been several books published in recent years addressing this specific topic. I believe, however, that none have been able to describe the true feeling of loneliness that arises from being in the position of running a company or a country. It is challenging and difficult at the end of the day to go to sleep with the thought that your own decisions and deeds may affect the lives of many.

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to meet with one of Israel’s former prime ministers. I described to him a meeting I had had in Qatar where Emir H.H Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani spoke to a group of leaders. The group included some Israelis, and the Emir was well aware of the effect this had on the mood and environment in which he found himself speaking. Being the brilliant speaker that he is, the Emir treated the whole audience equally and fairly. I was impressed because I knew that the pressure on the gentleman was quite strong and harsh. Now, the Emir is not a “lonely” person, neither is he ever physically alone, but he is in a position which could lend itself to loneliness during his decision process.

Leadership is about having the courage to make decisions, some of which may at times makes one unpopular and disliked. From my vast experience in several companies as a CEO, being a CEO presents the situation of seeing and dealing with challenges that no one else in the organization can truly experience unless they actually hold the position. Many people admire their leaders—political or CEOs. One must remember that there is always room for someone to move forward and up in an organization, unless you are the CEO. Once you become a CEO, life changes. The people surrounding you, regardless of their intellect and experience, look up to you. Their responsibility is limited and sectionalized, while you are in charge of everything. There is no one, aside from a board, to support you on your day-to-day decisions.

In my benchmarking tours around the world I have been fortunate enough to meet with many world leaders. In some cases I have asked them straightforward questions about hardships, challenges and stress. In other cases I have observed how they put on the front of the strong, confident and calm “problem solving” leader. I have tried to imagine the sense of loneliness that these people face in their every day lives, except for the solace of a partner. No wonder so many presidents and prime ministers are charged with the ridiculous accusation that their spouse is influencing their decisions (i.e. Nancy Reagan, Eva Perón, Sarah Netanyahu and Hillary Clinton).

In this era, when the global economy, the environment and the continual threat of nuclear weapons are becoming everyone’s problems, a new decision making process enters the scene. Leaders of countries and CEOs alike share the need to communicate their loneliness to one another. One should notice how more and more meetings and forums for discussions are taking place worldwide. CEOs are meeting frequently with their peers and world leaders are joining together monthly for the sake of causes and crises. It may be the solution for many CEOs who, like myself, at the end of the day go to sleep troubled about whether or not they have made the right decisions.

Yoram Yahav
TIM CEO

June 2009

I sat quietly in a doctor’s reception area and listened to two older ladies discussing plastic surgery. When they noticed me listening they even asked for my opinion. Consequently, the honest talk about breast enhancement, tummy tucks, Botox injections and lip plumping made me think about beauty and the beliefs associated with it.

If there is one definite prediction in life, it is that we will all eventually get older. As of today, to the best of my knowledge, science has not yet discovered a magical formula for the “fountain of youth” to keep us young forever. Our physiological structure is built around the natural decay of the human cell, and as such, aging is an unavoidable process.

In the past we used to criticize women going through breast enlargement, liposuction, nose jobs, eyebrow lifts and other cosmetic surgeries, most of which I don’t even know how to pronounce. Today, when it is not uncommon for sixteen-year-old girls to have breast augmentations and when your elderly neighbor regularly comes home from a “Botox” party with no wrinkles on her face, we accept it as normal.

I have been thinking about my conversation with the two older ladies at the doctor’s reception area. After all, why not do something that makes one feel better? Why is plastic surgery bad if a person feels better about him/herself after an operation? My personal opinion has always been that older and younger people are all beautiful, and that beauty changes relative to their age. A seventy-year-old woman can be attractive and beautiful even if she hasn’t gone through any surgery whatsoever. At the same time, if she decides to enlarge her breasts to establish “more presence,” then who are we to judge whether she should or shouldn’t?!

Lately I have been working out and swimming regularly. It always amuses me to notice the guys in the dressing room passing by the mirrors after the shower. There is a consistency in the manner in which each one of us looks at the mirror when we pass by. Quite often there is pride and an awe of satisfaction in the eyes. I find myself smiling and thinking how natural and gratifying it is to feel healthy in one’s body. But, what can we do that some of us hate working out and others are unsatisfied with the body that God gave them. How can we blame or criticize a human being who, with the help of the surgeon’s knife, can achieve a younger look? Interesting food for thought…

  
Yoram Yahav
CEO

May 2009

“A small step forward in life can be a huge step forward for the spirit.” I remember reading this Eastern script translation a few years ago. I have thought much about this phrase over these years and quite often have wondered about what its connotations are.

I am writing this note from a catamaran in a cozy marina in Western Italy. When one is at sea, it is easy to indulge in the relaxation which always accompanies deep thoughts and insights we often don’t consider in our hectic daily lives.

So many of us work around the clock, buried and entangled within the spider web of the many excuses for our own neglectful inactions in life. Some people I know in the high-tech industry have not taken vacation for years. They walk around like zombies, with stressed-out minds and spirits and waning self-esteem. I spoke to such an individual just a few days ago. As it happened, I felt privileged to be able to help him open up and pour out his aching heart to another man (which does not often happen in my chauvinist culture). He confessed, “I am falling apart. I feel down most of the day. The relationship with my wife is going down the drain and I have less patience for my kids. My whole body aches more times than it not. I wish there was a way for me to go away for a few days of sailing to relax my mind and get away from it all. I need it so badly,” he finally added.

I am willing to bet that each one of you know at least one person around you who is experiencing the feelings described above. I am even certain you are able to empathize with some of these complaints. My suggestion to you is to do anything you can to encourage these individuals to “take a small step” and take a break, even if it is just for one day. I am going through an intense period at work and have chosen to take a much needed step forward by stepping out of the office. Being able to smell the sea in the air and experiencing the beauty of sailing into the wind has already made my soul feel better, and will help me return to work more energized. Take yourself out to the beach in the evening, watch the sunset, ride a bike for a few hours, listen to good music while looking at your favorite photographs. Life is good. With a small step forward in life and huge step forward for your soul, you will truly be able to appreciate that.

  
Yoram Yahav
CEO

April 2009

I was in Switzerland when I received an SMS telling me that my son was hospitalized after a ski accident. He had broken his femur (the longest and largest bone in the human body), had some pulmonary problems due to fat emboli which penetrated his blood system, was operated on and was in stable condition, the note said.

Having lived through some rough experiences myself with all sorts of injuries and aftershocks, I don’t get easily panicked from these kinds of stories. At the same time, the notion of parenthood and its own derivatives never ceases to amaze me. Here I was, staying with friends in Lago Maggiore, a beautiful lake on the border of Switzerland and Italy, taking photos with a “photo group” and cooking together in a relaxed atmosphere in a breathtaking place. All I could do was think about my son, his condition and how I could help.

They tell us that as much as ones child grows older and matures, in the eyes of a parent, he or she will always remain a child. The concerns, worries and anxieties about the well-being of a child all stay the same forever. I believe there is a deep, indefinable feeling which spreads in our system when we are worried about a child. My son is a strong, independent, self-reliant young man who has commanded some pretty tough situations in his life. The last thing he needs is a worried father behind his back. I know it and I feel it, however, the notion is not easily manageable. Growing up with a tradition where your children are your life, when a child gets hurt, it is literally as though it has happened to you. Now when I am in bed at night thinking about my son downstairs with pins in his leg and his difficulty sleeping, my stomach turns over and my mind becomes occupied with millions of thoughts about how I may be able to ease his pain.

In moments like these I think about mothers whose children are in danger and are able to exert superwoman strengths, not logical in terms of their physiological and physical ability. I think about my own parents who suffered through and survived the horrors of the Holocaust and who committed their lives to making sure that no similar pain or suffering would happen to their own children. Every time we are ill, the chicken soup is never late in its arrival. I believe in unconditional friendship associated with loyalty and care, and for my children, undoubtedly, I will give my life. Bringing children into the world means that aside from the basic child baring responsibilities of every day routine, we will always live with the concerns, worries and prayers about their well being regardless of how old they are. It is simply the manner in which we were created to live.

  
Yoram Yahav
CEO

March 2009

Not far from my house and on my way to work, there is a man who I often see begging for money by walking in between the cars waiting for the green light. He appears to be in his forties, fit, and most of the time unshaven. His uneven dangerous walk between the cars reminds me of an animal approaching a source of food while watching its surroundings; trying simultaneously to “not get run over by a car,” but also not missing out on an opportunity for food.

I have watched this person many times and have quite often wondered about his life. I ask myself: “What is his life really like? Does he sleep on the streets or does he jump into his BMW parked around the corner at the end of the work day? Does the global economic situation affect his income? Has he modified his marketing methodology and approach, and what does he do with the many coins he receives from all of us sympathetic drivers?”

Last week there was an accident at the intersection which stopped traffic, and I had the opportunity to observe our worker, whom I will call “John.” John walked over to my car the second time around, obviously forgetting that he has already visited me on the previous five-minute cycle. His face wore a poor expression as he approached me. “I have already paid you,” I told him, and added, “is the economy hurting you?” He looked at me puzzled, not knowing whether to take me seriously or to spit at me. It seemed like my facial expression made him respond with the same seriousness and he replied, “Yes. These are hard times, people pay me very little.” The situation felt surreal sitting in my jeep with the radio in the background stating the recent rise of unemployment and this relatively young healthy-looking man imposing upon drivers for money. “Where do you live?” I asked him. At that point he looked at me and responded aggressively, “It’s none of your business.” I looked back at him pitifully, closed the window and ignored the pathetic scene.

Today I had to leave the house quite early. I was tired from prior long days at work, when to my shock and dismay, I looked to the side of the street and saw “John” emerging out of a virtually new Toyota. I could not believe that he was actually putting on his usual dirty jacket. I wrote down his license plate number not really knowing what I would do with it and stared at him straight in the eyes without saying a word. John did not smile, nor did he blink even once. He turned around and walked over to the intersection to start another day’s work.

I know that most of you have experienced “street people” begging for money. I have had many discussions with friends criticizing me for giving something to everyone that asks for help, even if they may be pretending. I have always responded with the same response that, if a person brings himself to ask, then regardless of whether he is a crook or not, the fact is that the act of giving is important. What do you think and how would you react in a situation like this?

  
Yoram Yahav
CEO

February 2009

I have been thinking a lot these days about the “universe of loss.” There are no less than three individuals I have spoken to recently who have lost their spouse or loved one (a twenty nine year old in one case). Many people who are deeply in love and physically separated from their significant other, and many who live in denial, be it with their work, or partners, are suddenly thrust into a situation where they are faced with loss, and consequently experience life changes.

What is it about loss that causes us so much sadness and pain? After all, life is short and with time comes healing. Everything we do is about change and growth. Flowers bloom and whither, and new ones grow in their place. Colds confine people to their beds only to arise days later healthy and vibrant. Older parents who pass away leave their children in grieving, and only with time are the children able to move forward in life and learn to cherish the good memories.

I recently met with a friend who spent an evening confiding in me about the deep pains of longing he has for his wife of twenty years who succumbed to breast cancer not too long ago. “I can’t get over her absence” he told me, “her smell is still in our closet, her perfumes and soaps on the bathroom counter, the music she loved, her whispers in my ear in our intimate moments, her head on my shoulder at night and her rolling laughter.” He described how his health has deteriorated even though he was always an athlete in perfect health. “Will the sense of loss ever go away?” he asked me almost rhetorically.

I myself went through major changes these last years and months. A friend of mine, a traditional Chinese doctor, has suggested to me in the past to spend time with many people, to find a trustworthy person to talk to, and to engage myself in a relaxing physical activity such as swimming. It was a nice “idea,” and productive as well as healing, but recently I chose a different approach which is tremendously uplifting. I spend much more time with myself alone “looking into me.” I know it sounds a bit “off” and maybe even intimidating to those who need to be around people all the time. But trust me – it works and the internal growth is unequivocally amazing. I humbly say that strength and self confidence were always within my domain, but the capacity to enjoy myself alone and still have fun, was not necessarily within my grasp. I find that when you are sad or happy, depressed or elated, energetic or week, the physical process of being alone and looking into the exact “DNA” of our feelings and thoughts, makes us stronger and more confident. The sadness I feel at times makes me truly look into my own thoughts and actions while “feeling.” I try to touch it, sense it, understand it. I try to think of what it is which will make the sadness turn around and transform it into something hopeful.

There is a lesson in everything. Losing a loved one under any circumstances regardless of how sever or devastating those circumstances may be, is difficult. I believe, however, that to some extent we are masters of our own lives and realities. It will take time, but it is up to us to grow and heal, to look into each experience individually, and to come out from the other side as better and stronger human beings. It is the law of the land.

  
Yoram Yahav
CEO